Category: Let's talk
I wanted to write this because it's been on my mind a lot lately and has been bugging me a bit. I didn't want to put this on the rant board, because I'm not mad, but maybe it'll turn into a bit of a rant. I know how I write, long winded and such. Anyway, what is the whole appeal to an attention seeker? Whether it's a vapid female trying to get a little piece of some guy or 5, or whether it's just someone trolling or being mean to another just to get a reaction, attention seekers come in all shapes and sizes. Seriously, what's the appeal? I used to unfortunately, be one of those stupid little harlets in the making. Every time a guy, no matter who, paid me one little speck of attention, BAM!!! I was on him like white on rice. No exaggerations, I was that bad, but once I got in a little more envolved than I wanted to, I grew out of it, and I was seventeen at the time. I guess when you're a teenager doing it, it's different. You're young and dumb and, shit, you're bound to make that mistake, but when you're in your 20's or 30's? Come on! Grow up and get a life, or get more friends. Seriously, seeking the wrong kind of attention will get you no where in life but unhappy. Trust me, I know.
uuuu trolling, that's my part :P
I only troll people who deserves it....
A lot of people assume on here that because someone says something in a way that others don't like that they are doing it it intentionally to get a rise out of someone, or to get a reaction. That isn't always the case. Often, someone is just trying to make their point, and the other person gets offended.
that is why, on a lot of other boards, when people talk about the rampant bullying on this site, I have to always ask myself what they're talking about. Now sure, there is bullying on this site, but I don't think its anywhere near as bad as people make it out to be. A lot of people just want everything wrapped in sugar and tied up with a bow, and a lot of other people don't always feel like being the candyman.
We know they're attention seekers when they can't get their opinion across eligantly; you get my drift Cody?
I admit I prob use to be one so I'm not saying I'm perfect, but at least I grew out of it; Lol maybe some others will too.
I have no idea what the appeal is OP and it's a question I'm always asking myself. The world would indeed be a better place without them, but the world aint perfect so sadly this is what we get. Lol
Not every opinion calls for elegant phrasing and politeness. Sometimesa person deserves to be called names. If you're acting like an idiot, you deserve to be called an idiot. It isn't bullying to call you an ass if you're actuallly being an ass.
I think a major problem with the site is that people have come to expect to be able to do anything without consequences. They think they can act like jackasses without someone telling them the truth about it. The quicker we stop that, the quicker we can move past all this whining about hurt feelings.
Cody, I agree with you 100 percent. I guess I was more talking about the vapid girls.
agree SilverLightning
It's one of those things that no matter where you go, you'll always see that person who has to be the spotlight of attention. Here at college, there are people who have been here for six plus years. Why? Because they like to party, get drunk, high, and have sex. Meanwhile their parents continue to pay the tuition. It's a little irritating to see people like that here when I've only been here a year busting my ass, and it feels like it's been longer, but I feel as though it's one of those things that a person has to learn on their own, sometimes the hard way by getting called out on it. And it usually takes a group of people to do the calling out instead of one person, because I've seen on here. One person tries to call out one person and the person with good intentions gets shut down.
I agree post 3 very much so, people bully to not gain attention. it's normally a reaction triggered by unwanted attention or the feeling to express a dislike to an action or behaviour.
I Agree with Sam on the girl aspect of the attention seeking and have seen it in some guys to. I dislike that and find it very unatractive.
to me an attention seeker is someone who is doing something to gain attention, for example an emo kid saying they are going to cut and posting about it online etc. because sadly if they feel that down and want to harm themselves they'll go ahead and do it attention or nothing at all.
or someone saying something completely rediclus just to gain simpathy or attention from a specific group.
Sam, Cody is exactly right. oftentimes, what people label as some trying to get a rise out of others, is just us stating our opinion, clearly, in a way that isn't very well liked.
that's part of life, though, so as much as some wish it would change, it won't, for me.
believe it or not, I used to be one who didn't call things as I see them, or even express my opinions. however, now, I've found what works best for me, and honesty, though blunt/appearing to some as confrontational, at times, is the method I use, whether online or in real life, to get my point across.
I've found that, in doing so, people who see it for exactly what it is, often come to respect me, cause they know I'll always give them a straightforward answer.
I don't understand the appeal of bullying/harassing others to get attention either. My guess is that they feel inadequate in some way so they put others down to make themselves feel better, or to be noticed, or because they're very unhappy and unsatisfied with their lives.. Very unfortunate since there have been a number of stories in the news lately about teens committing suicide because of online bullying.
That's another thing. You should really look at the text of those stories. Look at what was actually said in the situation.
Compared to that it seems almost insulting to call what goes on here bullying.
I truely think a lot of this comes from bordom, and I'm not kidding. What's the most used phrase on the zone of all time? I'm bored. So people get bored, pick someone who they don't like, and say things they know will get a rise out of them. Time spent. Maybe not wisely, but time spent anyways.
it astounds me how often how ever you try it always comes back to so called bullying. this topic was originally about attention seeking, not idiotic name calling which I think the majority of us who have lived in the real world know isn't attention seeking.
I find it a little concerning that everyone keeps trying to cause such issue's out of it. what you actually are doing by talking about it is atempting to atract attention. It's interesting how the mind works for some people.
Exactly. and I think trolling and bullying are too completely different things. What goes on here isn't bullying, and, quite frankly, I like when Chelsea and Cody speak their minds. They especially are the ones who make me think about certain things, but I digress. I'm getting off my own topic, bad Sam. Lol. Anyhow, yeah Ryan, I see that here in college as well and it's just purely dumb and counterproductive.
James posted on the board topic a link that explains what trolling is and how it is different from bullying.
dammit. I meant to say he posted a link on the board topic regarding the changes in the terms of service, the link that defines what trolling is.
The Westborough Baptist Cult. Talk about attenntion seekers and/or bullies they're an excellent example.
I hate those motherfucking self righteous cunts with a fiery passion. I don't really despise anyone, but they fucking make me sick.
Sorry Cody, but in my world, name calling is wrong and insulting under any circumstances. You don't call someone an ass for disagreeing with their opinion, not even if you think they're being an idiot.And yes, frankly if you can't put any of your points across in an eligant manner, you will not be taken seriously -at least that's how I'd see it; you just want to be a bully because you're not putting your point across politely.
It's like those people who do nothing but swear when they talk to someone; they don't obviously have the language to express themselves eligantly so they resort to cursing at the person instead; real helpful!
So sorry to burst your bubble but you (and no I'm not talking about you specifically but in general) are an attention seeker if you have to belittle every single post because you feel every opinion you have is the right one.
I agree With mas. Clearly, if someone is seeking attention, they'll say and do thems to themselves, or to others, or say things about others, just for the sake of gaining attention.
Oh and, There's a huge difference between having a strong opinion and expressing it in such a way that manifests more of the idiotic of oneself. Being thick skin does not mean being rude, and having a strong opinion does not give way to disrespect. Just because you, or you think your words aren't insulting doesn't mean he, she or I'll have to take your words the exact way you meant them because you know, we're different, and I think some of us still have a hard time understanding that. Which sounds better, Excuse me please or Shut the fuck up? Or, I think you should be careful next time, or you're stupid, I told you so? While there are different people in this world, Manners, respect and the choice of words are universal
Then RT, you are one of the people I described in my first post. You want everything covered in sugar and wrapped up with a pretty little bow so that it doesn't offend your delicate sensibilities. Unfortunately, or fortunately if you're of my mindset, the world doesn't work like that.
But let me ask you a question RT. Why would you rather have me elegantly call you an idiot, without actually saying the word? For example, I could say that I feel your opinion on this matter is poorly thought out, based on naive and immature modes of thinking and doesn't stand up to realistic scrutiny or experiment. Furthermore, I feel it is actually a dangerous proposition that should have been done away with around the time of preschool. You should have learned around that time that the world is not a nice place, and not everyone will treat you as kindly as you'd like to be treated. I feel, by asking for such treatment, you are displaying a lack of development and an unwillingness to subject yourself to the true realities of society.
Why is it that saying that, which did not have names in it anywhere, makes you feel better than me going, "RT, you're being an immature sissy and you need to grow up?"
Cody, I think she's advocating that people with mind sets like you and I have, shouldn't say anything at all, if we're unwilling to put a pretty little bow on everything, and make sure it's wrapped up as warm as can be, with lots of sugar added.
for instance, instead of us saying to her something like you did above, she'd rather us shut up (although she wouldn't say that, since, in her view, it's mean).
there's a difference between being rude just because you can, and being rude because you think it's acceptable. I dont' sugar coat anything, how ever there is a amicable way of expressing opinions. Do I call my friend a anal slut? or do I say you are a bit uptight and going with a lot of women easily. I guess for some of you politeness is to much to expect of friends.
but again this board digresses away from the original topic, I would guess you Chelsea are an attention seeker. constantly refering back to yourself and how great you are for acting like a complete cunt. when really you look like an idiot with a big mouth, who thinks that reading about things not doing certain actions is the way to educate. good luck,
That's exactly what I meant, Mas! some people manifest the idiotic of themselves by acting like complete snotty bitches.
It depends on the situation. If somebody loses a friend or family member1 and they seem upset about it, do you find it appropriate to say, "get over it. They aren't coming back, so there's no use in bitching and crying over it." Certainly you must agree that the wording must be considerate in that instance. However, I don't understand how this relates to being an attention seeker.
Or, if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything, period.
Didn't think I would weigh in on this one, but:
This focus on who's getting attention and who isn't, and who thinks they're better for not seeking attention, is all ridiculous, in my opinion.
Nearly everybody I know, from the shy to the bold, have been accused of seeking attention, or calling attention to themselves. Usually those doing the accusing have some sort of reason like maybe they themselves didn't get enough? I mean, who in their right mind is keeping score on these things? And how would you in fact do that? But of course these are reasonable questions for unreasonable people in this instance.
yeah exactly. however those types of people feel so small and inadequate that they feel they have to compensate for it by acting like complete know-it-alls, thinking it makes them look smart and cute, when in reality they just look like assholes seeking attention...
If by RT you mean me, you obviously aren't reading properly.
Chelsea, that's not what I meant and you should know that.
There's obviously unfortunately no hope for some of you, so I shall just leave you alone now.
Sorry, RD, I didn't double-check, my fault. Now, I'm genuinely interested in your answer to my question. Why is one fine with you, and the other not?
Cody, since you were somewhat sensible in my mind in your previous post, I would attempt to try and explain myself perhaps clearer if that is that you generally don't understand where I'm going.
I might try going back to basics here. There's all sorts of people who make up the zone - as with everywhere; with varying abilities, strengths, weaknesses, opinions, morrals and values.
Note, I'm not speaking about you here - this is in general. I've noticed on some board posts that are started up by people who obviously have other disabilities whether that be mental or physical, others will belittle them in quite a big way whether that be because of how they write and/or what they say. The thing is, these people just want to fit in like everyone, and even though some may obviously be annoying, they really get picked on and teased instead of comstructive feedback which they may be seeking.
That's the first thing.
Second involves what you perhaps generally didn't understand what I was trying to say. People have often started interesting discussion topics and it is plain obvious that the many and varied opinions on them are shared. However, why can't some people express their opinion in a way that isn't belittling the opposing person and putting them down? This, I feel is deliberately attention seeking because they are just waiting for others to be in on belittling them so they can form a pack, if you will.
I was trying to say that there is a difference between putting your opinion across elegantly and belittling someone for having the opposing opinion you do. "I don't agree with your opinion because" .. and then state it or as you've done in the past Cody, back it up with some facts but again, not in a way that's going to belittle them; that's when you can really get people's backs up.
Some people are quite sensative and take things more literally than others may think. It is therefore, that I don't see any reason for not being elagant in how you state an opposing opinion. And just to be clear again for people like Chelsea, this does *not mean sugarcoting it or saying what you want to hear. If people don't want to read opposing opinions, as you and others have pointed out in the past, don't write the board post.
Cody, I generally don't understand the need for wanting to call or even imply that someone is an idiot at all. No I don't understand why you called GT a "coward" in another thread because although she may have done things different than you would have, it doesn't make her less of a person.
Someone might rightfully call someone a coward if they murdered someone or something; yes I feel it is wrong to stoop down to their level somewhat by using language or name calling, but society obviously would more accept that such people deserved what they got.
Sorry I can't explain it clearer than that.
Who ever said that being a coward makes you less of a person? Everyone is a coward sometimes.
That's the thing. People put so much emphasis on these names, as if they change who you are. Being called an idiot doesn't make you an idiot for the rest of your life. It means at this moment in time you're being foolish. Everyone does that, and I for one would like someone to tell me when I'm doing it.
I would rather have someone flatly tell me their opinion, then dance around the issue and risk misunderstandings. How man times in board posts have you been misunderstood rd? I'd say dozens. Because you dance around the issues. You never want to insult anyone or offend anyone, so you fill board posts with a lot of empty words that do nothing but distract people from the fact that you actually are insulting them. Why waste your time with that?
In answer to your question, I would never want to insult anyone even if I disagreed with what they were saying/doing; I'm still jenuinlly surprised that you think it's OK; You sound inteligent in a lot of respects.But I don't understand why you think acting like this is not bullying.
OK I sorta get where you're going with the "idiot" thing though I still wouldn't personally use that terminology. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion and even if they're wrong, why would you call them an idiot for saying it?
Well i guess this is where we're different SL; I don't dance around issues; I give them my opinion and if it's simply not something I could tell them without sounding insulting, I just won't comment on the post.
I'm not wrong; you believe I am and I believe you are wrong.No-one likes being called an idiot or other insults including me so it's best that we just respect each other on that.
I think we will just have to agree to disagree on this SL.
This is all I'm going to say if you don't mind; it's now like flogging a dead horse.
Note your wording RD. You said, sounding insulting. Not sounding insulting can still be insulting.
But Cody, sugar is good. Isn't it? Sorry. All kidding asside, I kinda like when you use big words to inteligently insult. Also, what does that mean exactly? I'm not accusing people of being attention seekers. Especially with vapid girls who use their assets to get them what they want. I guess that's my general grievance with them. This post made no sense.
I realized that post didn't make sense at all. I guess I was wondering if I was the one thought to accuse people of seeking attention?
What really gets to me is those people who wanting to be the center of attention, but when they on the sportlight, when people criticise them, they can't take it, and wine like a 4 year old who lost their dummy. I think, this particular type of attention seeker is the worse of all.
Technically Sam, on this board you are an attention seeker. You put up a post which you hoped people would pay attention to and respond to. Thus, you sought attention.